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Sunday, 5 June 2011

Omega-3 Fatty Acids Are Super Human


Omega3 Fatty Acids are priority one when it comes to providing your body what it needs if you want to stay young and fight off disease! Adding fats to your diet is essential if you want to live a healthy lifestyle that results in feeling and looking great, but it has to be the right kind of fats. Essential fatty acids fall within this category and are a crucially important addition to anyone’s diet.


Omega3 fatty acids are made up of two components:

DHA (which stands for docosahexaenoic acid) and EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid).

The best source of DHA and EPA are fish, especially salmon, seaweed, shellfish and algae. Furthermore, you can also get omega3 fatty acids from unrefined whole grains, dark & leafy greens and certain nuts and seeds like walnuts, flaxseeds and pumpkin seeds. This second group contains ALA (alpha linolenic acid) which your body then converts to EPA and DHA.

Your best bet, however, is to get your omega-3’s from seafood because your body converts only about 15 percent of dietary ALA to EPA and much less to DHA.

What do you do if you don’t like, and absolutely refuse to eat, seafood? Well, fortunately you can get omega-3’s in capsule form. Not everyone’s stomach can handle these capsules, but try them out for one month. It’s an extremely convenient way to add omega-3’s to your diet.

When purchasing omega-3’s in pill form, you’ll notice some products also contain the other two components of essential fatty acids: omega-6 and omega-9. Stick with the products that contain only high amounts of omega3 fatty acids. Most people already get high amounts of these two fatty acids from their diet, and it’s this lack of omega3 fatty acids that is potentially the culprit behind many health problems today.

When adding omega3 fatty acids to your diet through pills, look for 1,000 mg pills and take 3-9 per day with food depending on your current health status and healthy living goals. Your physician should be able to consult with you about this.

So now you have a good introduction into omega-3 fatty acids and the different ways to add them to your diet, but what are the health benefits associated with them?

Plenty! Here’s a quick list and you can also easily do some research by searching for “benefits of omega3 fatty acids″ in your favorite search engine.

- stabilizes blood sugar levels and lowers insulin levels
- boosts your immune system
- encourages your body to burn fat and decreases appetite
- improves your mood and attention span
- reduce inflammation
- improve your skin tone and radiance

If the above doesn’t get you excited about this proven, inexpensive and easy-to-get fatty acid supplement, then check your pulse!

It’s an addition to your diet that will help improve your health by leaps and bounds. So if you are new to health and wellness, the first and foremost topic you must study and learn everything you can about is Omega3 Fatty Acids!

Overview: Omega-3 fatty acids

Omega-3 fatty acids are considered essential fatty acids: They are necessary for human health but the body can' t make them -- you have to get them through food. Omega-3 fatty acids can be found in fish, such as salmon, tuna, and halibut, other seafood including algae and krill, some plants, and nut oils. Also known as polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFAs), omega-3 fatty acids play a crucial role in brain function as well as normal growth and development. They have also become popular because they may reduce the risk of heart disease. The American Heart Association recommends eating fish (particularly fatty fish such as mackerel, lake trout, herring, sardines, albacore tuna, and salmon) at least 2 times a week.

Research shows that omega-3 fatty acids reduce inflammation and may help lower risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, cancer, and arthritis. Omega-3 fatty acids are highly concentrated in the brain and appear to be important for cognitive (brain memory and performance) and behavioral function. In fact, infants who do not get enough omega-3 fatty acids from their mothers during pregnancy are at risk for developing vision and nerve problems. Symptoms of omega-3 fatty acid deficiency include fatigue, poor memory, dry skin, heart problems, mood swings or depression, and poor circulation.

It is important to have a balance of omega-3 and omega-6 (another essential fatty acid) in the diet. Omega-3 fatty acids help reduce inflammation, and most omega-6 fatty acids tend to promote inflammation. The typical American diet tends to contain 14 - 25 times more omega-6 fatty acids than omega-3 fatty acids.

The Mediterranean diet, on the other hand, has a healthier balance between omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids. Many studies have shown that people who follow this diet are less likely to develop heart disease. The Mediterranean diet does not include much meat (which is high in omega-6 fatty acids) and emphasizes foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, including whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables, fish, olive oil, garlic, as well as moderate wine consumption.

Uses:

Clinical evidence is strongest for heart disease and problems that contribute to heart disease, but omega-3 fatty acids may also be used for:

High cholesterol
People who follow a Mediterranean-style diet tend to have higher HDL or “good” cholesterol levels, which help promote heart health. Inuit Eskimos, who get high amounts of omega-3 fatty acids from eating fatty fish, also tend to have increased HDL cholesterol and decreased triglycerides (fats in the blood). Several studies have shown that fish oil supplements reduce triglyceride levels. Finally, walnuts (which are rich in alpha linolenic acid or LNA, a type of omega-3 fatty acid) have been reported to lower total cholesterol and triglycerides in people with high cholesterol levels.

High blood pressure
Several clinical studies suggest that diets or fish oil supplements rich in omega-3 fatty acids lower blood pressure in people with hypertension. An analysis of 17 clinical studies using fish oil supplements found that taking 3 or more grams of fish oil daily may reduce blood pressure in people with untreated hypertension.

Heart disease
One of the best ways to help prevent heart disease is to eat a diet low in saturated fat and to eat foods that are rich in monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats (including omega-3 fatty acids). Clinical evidence suggests that EPA and DHA (eicosapentaenoic acid and docosahexaenoic acid, the two omega-3 fatty acids found in fish oil) help reduce risk factors for heart disease, including high cholesterol and high blood pressure. Fish oil has been shown to lower levels of triglycerides (fats in the blood), and to lower risk of death, heart attack, stroke, and abnormal heart rhythms in people who have already had a heart attack. Fish oil also appears to help prevent and treat atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) by slowing the development of plaque and blood clots, which can clog arteries.

Large population studies suggest that getting omega-3 fatty acids in the diet, primarily from fish, helps protect against stroke caused by plaque buildup and blood clots in the arteries that lead to the brain. Eating at least 2 servings of fish per week can reduce the risk of stroke by as much as 50%. However, high doses of fish oil and omega-3 fatty acids may increase the risk of bleeding. People who eat more than 3 grams of omega-3 fatty acids per day (equivalent to 3 servings of fish per day) may have higher risk for hemorrhagic stroke, a potentially fatal type of stroke in which an artery in the brain leaks or ruptures.

People with diabetes often have high triglyceride and low HDL levels. Omega-3 fatty acids from fish oil can help lower triglycerides and apoproteins (markers of diabetes), and raise HDL, so eating foods or taking fish oil supplements may help people with diabetes. Another type of omega-3 fatty acid, ALA (from flaxseed, for example) may not have the same benefit as fish oil. Some people with diabetes can' t efficiently convert LNA to a form of omega-3 fatty acids that the body can use. Also, some people with type 2 diabetes may have slight increases in fasting blood sugar when taking fish oil, so talk to your doctor to see if fish oil is right for you.

Rheumatoid arthritis
Most clinical studies examining omega-3 fatty acid supplements for arthritis have focused on rheumatoid arthritis (RA), an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in the joints. A number of small studies have found that fish oil helps reduce symptoms of RA, including joint pain and morning stiffness. One study suggests that people with RA who take fish oil may be able to lower their dose of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). However, unlike prescription medications, fish oil does not appear to slow progression of RA, only to treat the symptoms. Joint damage still occurs.
Laboratory studies suggest that diets rich in omega-3 fatty acids (and low in the inflammatory omega-6 fatty acids) may help people with osteoarthritis, although more study is needed. New Zealand green lipped mussel (Perna canaliculus), another potential source of omega-3 fatty acids, has been reported to reduce joint stiffness and pain, increase grip strength, and improve walking pace in a small group of people with osteoarthritis. For some people, symptoms got worse before they improved.
An analysis of 17 randomized, controlled clinical trials looked at the pain relieving effects of omega-3 fatty acid supplements in people with RA or joint pain caused by inflammatory bowel disease (IBS) and painful menstruation (dysmenorrhea). The results suggest that omega-3 fatty acids, along with conventional therapies such as NSAIDs, may help relieve joint pain associated with these conditions.

Systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE)
Several small studies suggest that EPA and fish oil may help reduce symptoms of lupus, an autoimmune condition characterized by fatigue and joint pain. However, two small studies found fish oil had no effect on lupus nephritis (kidney disease caused by lupus, a frequent complication of the disease).

Osteoporosis
Some studies suggest that omega-3 fatty acids may help increase levels of calcium in the body and improve bone strength, although not all results were positive. Some studies also suggest that people who don' t get enough of some essential fatty acids (particularly EPA and gamma-linolenic acid [GLA], an omega-6 fatty acid) are more likely to have bone loss than those with normal levels of these fatty acids. In a study of women over 65 with osteoporosis, those who took EPA and GLA supplements had less bone loss over 3 years than those who took placebo. Many of these women also experienced an increase in bone density.

Depression
Studies have found mixed results as to whether taking omega-3 fatty acids can help depression symptoms. Several studies have found that people who took omega-3 fatty acids in addition to prescription antidepressants had a greater improvement in symptoms than those who took antidepressants alone. However, other studies have found no benefit.
Studies are also mixed on whether omega-3 fatty acids alone have any effect on depression. Depression is a serious illness and you should not try to treat it on your own. See a doctor for help.

Bipolar disorder
In a clinical study of 30 people with bipolar disorder, those who took fish oil in addition to standard prescription treatments for bipolar disorder for 4 months experienced fewer mood swings and relapse than those who received placebo. But another 4-month long clinical study treating people with bipolar depression and rapid cycling bipolar disorder did not find that EPA helped reduce symptoms.

Schizophrenia
Preliminary clinical evidence suggests that people with schizophrenia may have an improvement in symptoms when given omega-3 fatty acids. However, a recent well-designed study concluded that EPA supplements are no better than placebo in improving symptoms of this condition.

Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
Children with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may have low levels of certain essential fatty acids (including EPA and DHA). In a clinical study of nearly 100 boys, those with lower levels of omega-3 fatty acids had more learning and behavioral problems (such as temper tantrums and sleep disturbances) than boys with normal omega-3 fatty acid levels.
However, studies examining whether omega-3 fatty acids help improve symptoms of ADHD have found mixed results. A few studies have found that omega-3 fatty acids helped improve behavioral symptoms, but most were not well designed. One study that looked at DHA in addition to stimulant therapy (standard therapy for ADHD) found no effect. More research is needed, but eating foods that are high in omega-3 fatty acids is a reasonable approach for someone with ADHD.

Skin disorders
In one clinical study, 13 people with sun sensitivity known as photo dermatitis showed less sensitivity to UV rays after taking fish oil supplements. However, topical sunscreens are much better at protecting the skin from damaging effects of the sun than omega-3 fatty acids. In another study of 40 people with psoriasis, those who took EPA with their prescription medications did better than those treated with the medications alone. However, a larger study of people with psoriasis found no benefit from fish oil.

Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD)
Results are mixed as to whether omega-3 fatty acids can help reduce symptoms of Crohn' s disease and ulcerative colitis, the two types of IBD. Some studies suggest that omega-3 fatty acids may help when added to medication, such as sulfasalazine (a standard medication for IBD). Others find no effect. More studies are needed. Fish oil supplements can cause side effects that are similar to symptoms of IBD (such as flatulence, belching, bloating, and diarrhea).

Asthma
Studies examining omega-3 fatty acids for asthma are mixed. In one small, well-designed clinical study of 29 children with asthma, those who took fish oil supplements rich in EPA and DHA for 10 months reduced their symptoms compared to children who took placebo. However, most studies have shown no effect.

Macular Degeneration
A questionnaire given to more than 3,000 people over the age of 49 found that those who ate more fish were less likely to have macular degeneration (a serious age-related eye condition that can progress to blindness) than those who ate less fish. Similarly, a clinical study comparing 350 people with macular degeneration to 500 without the eye disease found that those with a healthy dietary balance of omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids and more fish in their diets were less likely to have macular degeneration.

Menstrual pain
In one study of 42 women, they had less menstrual pain when they took fish oil supplements than when they took placebo.

Coloncancer
Eating foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids seems to reduce the risk of colorectal cancer. For example, Eskimos, who tend to have a high-fat diet but eat significant amounts of fish rich in omega-3 fatty acids, have a low rate of colorectal cancer. Animal studies and laboratory studies have found that omega-3 fatty acids prevent worsening of colon cancer. Preliminary studies suggest that taking fish oil daily may help slow the progression of colon cancer in people with early stages of the disease. If you have colorectal cancer, ask your doctor before taking any supplements.

Breast cancer
Although not all experts agree, women who eat foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids over many years may be less likely to develop breast cancer. More research is needed to understand the effect that omega-3 fatty acids may have on the prevention of breast cancer.

Prostate cancer
Population based studies of groups of men suggest that a low-fat diet including omega-3 fatty acids from fish or fish oil help prevent the development of prostate cancer.

Dietary Sources:

Fish, plant, and nut oils are the primary dietary source of omega-3 fatty acids. Eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) are found in cold-water fish such as salmon, mackerel, halibut, sardines, tuna, and herring. ALA is found in flaxseeds, flaxseed oil, canola (rapeseed) oil, soybeans, soybean oil, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin seed oil, purslane, perilla seed oil, walnuts, and walnut oil. Other sources of omega-3 fatty acids include sea life such as krill and algae.

Available Forms:

Both EPA and DHA can be taken in the form of fish oil capsules. Flaxseed, flaxseed oil, fish and krill oils should be kept refrigerated. Whole flaxseeds must be ground within 24 hours of use, so the ingredients stay active. Flaxseeds are also available in ground form in a special mylar package so that the components in the flaxseeds stay active.
Be sure to buy omega-3 fatty acid supplements made by established companies who certify that their products are free of heavy metals such as mercury, lead, and cadmium.

How to Take It:

Dosing for fish oil supplements should be based on the amount of EPA and DHA, not on the total amount of fish oil. Supplements vary in the amounts and ratios of EPA and DHA. A common amount of omega-3 fatty acids in fish oil capsules is 0.18 grams (180 mg) of EPA and 0.12 grams (120 mg) of DHA. Five grams of fish oil contains approximately 0.17 - 0.56 grams (170 -560 mg) of EPA and 0.072 - 0.31 grams (72 - 310 mg) of DHA. Different types of fish contain variable amounts of omega-3 fatty acids, and different types of nuts or oil contain variable amounts of LNA. Fish oils contain approximately 9 calories per gram of oil.

Children (18 years and younger)
There is no established dose for children. Omega-3 fatty acids are used in some infant formulas. Fish oil capsules should not be used in children except under the direction of a health care provider. Children should avoid eating fish that may be high in mercury, such as shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish. (See Precautions section.)

Adults
Do not take more than 3 grams daily of omega-3 fatty acids from capsules without the supervision of a health care provider, due to an increased risk of bleeding.
  • For healthy adults with no history of heart disease: The American Heart Association recommends eating fish at least 2 times per week.
  • For adults with coronary heart disease: The American Heart Association recommends an omega-3 fatty acid supplement (as fish oils), 1 gram daily of EPA and DHA. It may take 2 - 3 weeks for benefits of fish oil supplements to be seen.
  • For adults with high cholesterol levels: The American Heart Association recommends an omega-3 fatty acid supplement (as fish oils), 2 - 4 grams daily of EPA and DHA. It may take 2 - 3 weeks for benefits of fish oil supplements to be seen.

Precautions:

Because of the potential for side effects and interactions with medications, dietary supplements should be taken only under the supervision of a knowledgeable health care provider.
Omega-3 fatty acids should be used cautiously by people who bruise easily, have a bleeding disorder, or take blood-thinning medications including warfarin (Coumadin) or clopidogrel (Plavix). High doses of omega-3 fatty acids may increase the risk of bleeding.
Fish oil can cause gas, bloating, belching, and diarrhea. Time-release preparations may reduce these side effects, however.
People with either diabetes or schizophrenia may lack the ability to convert alpha-linolenic acid (LNA) to eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), the forms more readily used in the body. People with these conditions should be sure to get enough EPA and DHA from their diets. Also, people with type 2 diabetes may experience increases in fasting blood sugar levels while taking fish oil supplements. If you have type 2 diabetes, use fish oil supplements only under the supervision of a health care provider.
Although studies suggest that eating fish (which includes the omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA) may reduce the risk of macular degeneration, a recent study including 2 large groups of men and women found that diets rich in LNA may increase the risk of this disease. Until more information becomes available, people with macular degeneration should get omega-3 fatty acids from sources of EPA and DHA, rather than LNA.
Fish and fish oil may protect against prostate cancer, but LNA may be associated with increased risk of prostate cancer in men. More research in this area is needed.
Some fish may contain potentially harmful contaminants, such as heavy metals (including mercury), dioxins, and polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs). For sport-caught fish, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) recommends that pregnant or nursing women eat no more than a single 6-ounce meal per week, and young children less than 2 ounces per week. For farm-raised, imported, or marine fish, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration recommends that pregnant or nursing women and young children avoid eating types with higher levels of mercury (such as mackerel, shark, swordfish, or tilefish), and eat up to 12 ounces per week of other fish types.
Buy fish oil from a reputable source that tests to make sure there is no mercury or pesticide residues in its products.

Possible Interactions:

If you are currently being treated with any of the following medications, you should not use omega-3 fatty acid supplements, including eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), and alpha-linolenic acid (LNA), without first talking to your health care provider.
Blood-thinning medications -- Omega-3 fatty acids may increase the effects of blood thinning medications, including aspirin, warfarin (Coumadin), and clopedigrel (Plavix). Taking aspirin and omega-3 fatty acids may be helpful in some circumstances (such as in heart disease), but they should only be taken together under the supervision of a health care provider.
Diabetes medications -- Taking omega-3 fatty acid supplements may increase fasting blood sugar levels. Use with caution if taking medications to lower blood sugar, such as glipizide (Glucotrol and Glucotrol XL), glyburide (Micronase or Diabeta), glucophage (Metformin), or insulin. Your doctor may need to increase your medication dose. These drugs include:
  • Glipizide (Glucotrol and Glucotrol XL)
  • Glyburide (Micronase or Diabeta)
  • Metformin (Glucophage)
  • Insulin
Cyclosporine -- Cyclosporine is a medication given to people with organ transplants. Taking omega-3 fatty acids during cyclosporine (Sandimmune) therapy may reduce toxic side effects, such as high blood pressure and kidney damage, associated with this medication.
Etretinate and topical steroids -- Adding omega-3 fatty acids (specifically EPA) to the drug therapy etretinate (Tegison) and topical corticosteroids may improve symptoms of psoriasis.
Cholesterol-lowering medications -- Following dietary guidelines, including increasing the amount of omega-3 fatty acids in your diet and reducing the omega-6 to omega-3 ratio, may help a group of cholesterol lowering medications known as statins to work more effectively. These medications include:
  • Atorvastatin (Liptor)
  • Lovastatin (Mevacor)
  • Simvastatin (Zocor)
Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) -- In an animal study, treatment with omega-3 fatty acids reduced the risk of ulcers from nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). NSAIDs include ibuprofen (Motrin or Advil) and naproxen (Aleve or Naprosyn). More research is needed to see whether omega-3 fatty acids would have the same effects in people.
  • Reviewed last on: 6/25/2009
  • Steven D. Ehrlich, NMD, Solutions Acupuncture, a private practice specializing in complementary and alternative medicine, Phoenix, AZ. Review provided by VeriMed Healthcare Network.

Omega-3 rich in vitamins, diabetes patients showed that protects your eyes


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Other Damage Caused by diabetes, such asOmega-3-rich in vitamins, mainly Responsible for protecting the eyes of diabetes patients in a high amount of glucose in the blindness blood vessels is thought to be distorting. According to this study, / an, to direct light-sensitive cells in diabetes is disturbing. 

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The reason is that produces the omega-3 free radical is a very powerful oxidant. Some Scientists, but received a very large amount of omega-3 may damagesays that.

Test for Pregnant Women, Babies Against Diabetes


Pregnant women will not have to undergo the cumbersome standard test for gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM) anymore.

The Indian college of obstetricians and gynaecologists (ICOG) is calling pregnant women to undergo a one step test to detect signs of diabetes. The standard test involves troublesome steps of screening and diagnosis. The new test will ensure that the woman gets proper management to prevent diabetes in future.

According to the experts, the one step test- diabetes in pregnancy study group, India (DIPSI) -not only limits the woman’s visits to the clinic to one or two times but also involves fewer blood samplings.

“Currently the ICOG is preparing a draft to recommend this single step test that can be used in low-resource setting and help control diabetes,” said Dr Sudeshna Ray, consultant of gynaecologists and obstetrician, Jaslok hospital and member of the committee of medical disorder in pregnancy. The DIPSI drafting was discussed in the meeting with federation of gynaecologists and obstetricians society of India’s technical advisory group.

According to experts the spread of diabetes pandemic to the younger population in India means that there is a growing epidemic of GDM.It is very important for the women to know if they fall under the high risk group of having gestational diabetes.

“Women who had GDM during a previous pregnancy, has a first degree relative who is a diabetic, who gave birth to large weight babies in a previous pregnancy fall under the high risk group of GDM,” said Dr Ray. The other risk factors are women who gave birth to still born babies or infants with congenital abnormalities, women with repeated or persistent urinary tract infection and women over the age of 30 years.

While women usually recover from gestational diabetes after they give birth, they have a 50% increased risk of developing type 2 diabetes later on, she said. Women with both type 1 and type 2 diabetes needed to prepare for pregnancy much more carefully than others, she added.

Petrol Sales Promotion

'A petrol station owner in Ludhiana was trying to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'

Soon Santa pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Santa guessed 8, and the proprietor said,


'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.'


A week later, Santa, along with his friend a Kashmiri pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Santa guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3.


You were close, but no free sex this time.'

As they were driving away, the Kashmiri said to Santa 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'


Santa replied, 'No it ain't, . It's not rigged at all'.


My wife won twice last week!!!!.

Old Age Sex

After his exam the doctor asked the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me?"

"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after we have sex the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."?

Later, after examining the elderly gentleman's wife, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to discuss with me?" She replied she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then told her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?"

Oh that crazy old fart," she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in January and the second time is in August." 

Nudist Colony Rules

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?'

The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'

She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'

Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel, eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.


Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him.

'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man.

'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.

'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.


The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.

'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'

'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here!!!'

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Miss Universes' Cute Answers


Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen because it stands every time it sees a woman......
(Applause! Applause!)




Question:
Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull) because it charges every time it sees an opening.
Applause!)



Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossips or rumors,
because it passes from mouth to mouth.
(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your Country?


Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves because they like to enter through the back door.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers because it works day and night......
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Singapore, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organs in Singapore are very Kiasu
(Afraid to lose) It always wants to rush in quickly and leaves 15 minutes before the show is over.
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms China: Well, I can say that Male Organs in China are like Deng Siow Ping.
Short and hard working, but can work until 90.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Taiwan, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms Taiwan: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Taiwan are like Chen Sui Bian. He knows he cannot do it already, but still tell people that he can.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton cars.
They look tough but actually are very soft.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)

There Is Somebody Under My Bed


EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD HIM

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 


'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.' 


'How much do you charge?' 


'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor. 


'I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you,' I said. 


Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street. 


'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked. 


'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV. 


'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?' 


'He told me to cut the legs off the bed - ain't nobody under there now!’

SCREW THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR TENDER.

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

What is carbohydrates? (For Diabetes)

What is carbohydrates?


Carbohydrates provide fuel for the body in the form of glucose. Glucose is a sugar that is the primary means of energy for all of the body’s cells. There are two ways to classify carbohydrates simple and complex.

Simple carbohydrates are sugars — like glucose, sucrose, lactose and fructose. They are found in refined sugar and in fruits. Complex carbohydrates are the starches, which are the simple sugars bonded together chemically — they are found in beans, nuts, vegetables and whole grains. Complex carbohydrates are considered healthier mostly because they are digested by the body slowly, providing a steady source of energy. They also contain valuable amounts of fiber.

Carbohydrates, rather than fats or proteins, have the most immediate effect on your blood glucose since carbohydrates are broken down directly into sugar early during digestion. It is important to eat the suggested amount of carbohydrate at each meal, along with some protein and fat.

Carbohydrates are mainly found in fruit, milk and yogurt, bread, cereal, rice, pasta, starchy vegetables


Carbohydrate Counting


Carbohydrate counting is a method of meal planning that is a simple way to keep track of the amount of total carbohydrate you eat each day. Counting grams of carbohydrate and evenly distributing them at meals will help you control your blood glucose.

With carbohydrate counting, you plan your carbohydrate intake based on what your pre-meal sugar is and your intake or insulin dose can be adjusted. Carbohydrate counting can be used by anyone and not just by people with diabetes that are taking insulin. If you eat more carbohydrates than your insulin supply can handle, your blood glucose level goes up. If you eat too little, your blood glucose level may fall too low. These fluctuations can be managed by knowing how to count your carbohydrate intake.

Carbohydrate counting is most useful for people who take multiple daily injections of insulin, use the insulin pump or who want more flexibility and variety in their food choices. However, it may not be for everyone, and the traditional method of following food exchange lists may be used instead. A registered dietitian can help you figure out a carbohydrate counting plan that meets your specific needs.
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